Randomosity
by kamakazikoala
Summary: just a bunch of crack has yaoi and chocolate and if you can't smell the angst something is wrong with you
1. The chapter that was born in my head

That chapter that was born in my head

Disclaimer: I don't own any anime

All I own is a hospital for pregnant men and the right to press charges

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"I choose you 'Pickachu'!" yelled an enthusiastic blond. "Damn it Naruto we're playing 'Yu-Gi-Oh' not 'Poke'mon'." mumbled an angst filled boy. "But Sasuke I thought we were playing strip poker!" exclaimed a confused Naruto. "Only when we have chocolate", sighed Sasuke "I should go get some later." Sasuke murmured to himself. "I'm bored of 'Yu-Gi-Oh'!" yelled Naruto "It's gay and not blue gay turquoise gay." (Note: blue is the unofficial new gay. Turquoise is the unofficial new bad gay) "Hey Sasuke lets go skip to the park!" chirped Naruto. " Fine and we can get some chocolate too." mumbled an angst filled Sasuke. "You should stop that Sasuke." said Naruto. Sasuke shot him a confused look. "Your angst. It's so strong I can smell it." stated a disgusted Naruto. "Oh sorry." mumbled Sasuke only producing more angst. Naruto smirked inwardly he knew he would get on top tonight.

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Meanwhile across town a grown man with a bowl cut, bushy eyebrows, and weird fashion sense. Yes it was weird, very, very weird. He wore a green spandex suit, leg warmers, and today a long suspicious trench coat. He was doing very suspicious thing. He was selling illegal drugs 'gasp!'. Yup he had top notch crack, pot, acid, and numerous others. And everything was over priced because he was the only drug dealer in town. The only thing he gave out for free was ruffies. And he only gave them to little boys. All of a sudden two little boys skipped up. "What are you doing Gai sensei?" asked little Konahamaru while his boyfriend Inari nodded. "Nothing children nothing at all," Gai said soothingly "Hey would you two like some white skittles." "Sure!" both boys chirped happily. After eating them the boys started to feel strange. "Hey what was in that candy?" questioned a sleepy Inari. "Nothing at all children." said Gai reassuringly. After a few moments the boys were out cold. "Excellent." chuckled Gai happily. He then proceeded to drag the boys to his house to do um suggestive things.

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"Kakashi stop I'm teaching class." whined Iruka. "You're always teaching class." sighed a disappointed Kakashi taking his hands out of Iruka's pants. "Not always!" snapped Iruka. "Oh yes you are and there's nothing you can do about!" yelled Kakashi. Iruka looked confused. "Oh never mind." mumbled Kakashi and disappeared. "Iruka sensei why were Kakashi sensei's hands down your pants?" 'Oh fuck' thought Iruka as he laughed nervously.

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kamakazikoala- That is were I leave you that was my first ever fan fiction. I'm sorry if it sucked or if you were at all offended


	2. The chapter that almost wasn't

The chapter that almost wasn't

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any anime...or Canada

But I do own a finger puppet

Actually I stole the finger puppet

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"Iruka sensei why were Kakashi sensei's hands down your pants?" 'Oh fuck' Iruka thought as he laughed nervously. "Well Billy when a man loves another man they do things." Iruka started "Things that make them both very happy... things that fell good." he added with a blush. "My mommy already told me that," sighed Billy "My daddy does stuff like that." finished the child. 'WTF?' thought Iruka as he sniffed the air 'Oh I smell therapy... and angst' "Does anyone smell angst!" shouted Iruka trying to change the subject. The class sniffed the air. "It's Billy." replied everyone but Billy. "Good" chirped Iruka "Everyone but Billy gets some 'Chips a' Ho'!" "Horary!" exclaimed everyone but Billy. And Billy cried.

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Meanwhile in heaven. "Zabuza do you think we'll ever be alive again?" asked a painfully gay gender confused teen. "I don't think so. Why do you ask Haku?" replied Haku's eyebrow less lover. "I just really want to see a bunny again." sighed Haku. Zabuza was left dumbfounded by his lover's new found bunny fetish. "That's right there are no bunnies in gay heaven because 'The Pope' bitches about homosexuality." Zabuza said after regaining his composure. "Yup that's about it." agreed Haku. Just then the two men heard the disembodied voice of God. "Zabuza and Haku I have just realized how homophobic I am so I'm sending you back to Earth." said God. With a big dramatic flash of **blue** light. Haku and Zabuza were sent back to Earth. "Horary!" chirped Haku "Let's go find some bunnies." Zabuza nodded absently while thinking of naughty things that one could do with a bunny. And the two skipped of to the forest.

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"What's that smell?" mumbled a confused random man. He lifted his head and scanned the street. Then he spotted two boys skipping down the road. It was Uzamaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. "Oh it's just Uchiha angst." he said relieved. "Come on Sasuke lets go to the zoo." whined Naruto. "We have to get chocolate first." said an annoyed Sasuke. "That can wait till later we have to go see the koalas!" shouted the fox. "Fine we'll get chocolate later." hissed Sasuke. The truth was that Sasuke loved the zoo. He especially loved the llamas. They were so cute and carefree unlike himself. And the best part of all was that they didn't reek of angst. "Oh yeah!" chirped Naruto. So the two skipped off to the zoo.

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Gaara and Lee were bored. They had played in the sandbox for hours and had made countless suggestive sand castles. "I have a great idea." squeaked Lee "We should go to the zoo." Gaara sighed he hated places that had lots of people and the zoo definitely was one of those places. "Do we have to?" whined young Kazegage. "Gaara you're too antisocial we have to get out of the sandbox for a change!" stated Lee. "But I fell safe in the sandbox." whimpered the eyebrowless boy. "We're going to the zoo and that is final!" shouted Lee. "Fine." mumbled Gaara as he started to produce angst.

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Naruto and Sasuke had just arrived at the zoo and were now looking for a map. "Hey do you smell angst Sasuke?" questioned Naruto. "It's not me!" exclaimed Sasuke who had cheered up upon arriving at the zoo. Naruto looked towards the smell and saw Konaha's strangest couples. Lee and Gaara were skipping in their direction. The two couple met and exchanged hellos. "Hey Naruto." said Lee. "Hi caterpillar brows." smiled Naruto. "Sauke Uchiha." muttered Gaara. "Gaara...hey what's your last name?" questioned Sasuke. "Yeah you are a pretty important character yet we don't know your last name." said Naruto with a nod. "I don't think my last name is important." sneered Gaara. "Why not?" asked Lee. "I'm the only one cool enough to go by one name." said Gaara with a smirk.

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kamakazikoala- Yup more crack I hope you liked it but if you were offended don't read any more of this story.


	3. What the hell is going on!

What The Hell Is Going On!

Disclaimer- Do you really think that if I owned Naruto that I'd be sitting here writing fan fictions

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After the interesting conversation about Gaara's last name the four boys got around to looking at animals. But sadly Sasuke was disappointed when he foung out that the llamas were visiting Canada. 'Damn llama hogging Canadians' thought Sasuke. And much to Naruto's dismay koalas live in Australia not Japan. Lee and Gaara were also upset because squirrels and racoons aren't important enough to have exhibits. So now the four boys marched through the zoo reeking of angst and disappointment. On their way to the elephant pen Naruto spotted a group of people gathered in front of an exhibit. "Arrgh what is that I see over yonder?" growled Naruto. His three companions turned to him with identical WTF looks on there faces. "Scince when have you been a pirate Naruto?" questioned Lee. "He's not a pirate just a retard." muttered Gaara. "Don't talk about my bitch like that!" snapped Sasuke. "Will you guys shut the up so we can investigate that crowd!" yelled Naruto. And the others did shut the hell up. As they approached they heard thing like "Holy crap" "That's disgusting" "No it's hot" and "That is a sin against God!" (that guy got shot). The boys got to the exhibit peered into it and saw Sakura and Ino making out in the corner. The only people that seemed to enjoy this were really lonely straight men, and Gai. "Gai sensei why are you watching this despicable spectacle!" cried Lee. "Lee I am a very, very lonely man and that over there is no more despicable than what you do with Gaara." stated Gai. "True but you touch little boys." rebutted Lee. Gai hung his head in shame then turned toward the lesbians but saw that they had disappeared. "Where did the not very hot but entertaining lesbians go?" he exclaimed. "It appears that the lesbians have left just as stealthily as they had come." noted Sasuke with a philosophical tone. At that time Sasuke and Naruto parted from Gaara and Lee who were comforting a weeping Gai.

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Meanwhile across the village Kakashi and Iruka were quiet puzzled over a pregnancy test. "What the hell do you mean you're pregnant!" exclaimed Kakashi. "Well you see this thing turned blue and that means that it's positive for pregnancy." replied Iruka calmly. "I know that" muttered Kakashi "but what possessed you to take the test?" "Well I haven't gotten my period so I got worried and took the test." said Iruka. "You get a period!" cried Kakashi. "Yeah I know it's weird but I just get one." muttered Iruka. "Oh well it looks like I'm going to be a daddy." sighed Kakashi. "And I'm going to be a mommy!" squealed Iruka.

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kamakazikoala- yup I got man pregnant I hope you liked it


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